3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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