Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize