just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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