if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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