there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The air was thick with penises
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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