All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize