A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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