So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
