erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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