he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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