he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
