And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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