fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
