I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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