Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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