If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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