he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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