We won't sleep together?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i already hear my dad disowning me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
