Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
