Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
