oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
MIDGETS
????
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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