She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
