i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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