you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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