everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
