i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
