I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
