he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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