he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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