YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
