just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
