Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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