I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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