just tell him i said nine months
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
