Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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