What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
