Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
