Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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