You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
