If i come over, it means nothing
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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