I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize