True but thats because hes a fetus.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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