What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dont even know how to be here
two words...techno handjob
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Someone came in the potted fern
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
