too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
