Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
