i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I will be naked everywhere
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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