she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
