What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
