It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
