Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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