just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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