Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
