Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize