Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
