don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
