Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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