What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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