I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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