Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
