Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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