Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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