I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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