I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
