You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize