It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
