just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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