Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
