remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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