I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't deserve a penis
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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