Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
