If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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