God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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