Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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