first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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