Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
